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201050031

CRYPTID OF THE NIGHT: A VERY Serious Article about VAMPIRES!

A long founded staple of Horror, Vampires are quite the Gothic Icon.

“i’m not saying i want to be a vampire but given the chance to be gay, dramatic AND immortal i certainly wouldn’t turn it down” - ofseance (from Tumblr.com)

The Flair! The Romance! The Aesthetic! The Questionably Homophobic Origins! All the makings of a Classic Horror Monster.There have been many many iterations of The Vampire throughout time. From the Original Dracula and Carmen, Nosferatu too, to the Twilight (with all it’s sparkles) and Hotel Transylvania. Even though that’s still technically Dracula. There’s also Castlevania! But wait that’s also Dracula. Is it just Dracula all the way down?okay to be fair there’s also The Lost Boys, Blade, What we do in The Shadows, From Dusk Till Dawn (that sounds familiar), Underworld and Morb. Point is, there’s a lot of them and that was just some of the Films made about them. We seem to really like Vampires. Like a lot. Each version of Vampires has different Rules attached to it.In modern media the rules basically boil down to: No Silver, No Garlic (hope you’re not Italian lmao), No Sunlight (you are very jealous of how Hot the sun is), you are now Anaemic and need constant Oral Blood Transfusions, You can move good, maybe you can turn into a bat and fly, a stake to the heart will kill you (although that’d kill pretty much anyone really), you’re either Hotter than Squidward that one time he became Handsome or you possess the face of a Mole Rat mixed with a Pug and a Gremlin.

That’s the general rules at least.

You may be shocked to learn that it wasn’t always this way!Yes sir E! Once upon a time there was more. They used to follow Fae Rules. Which means they needed to follow the Rules of Hospitality and be invited inside. They also couldn’t cross running water. They could shift into any animal, not just bats. They cannot be seen in mirrors. Fire worked shockingly well. They can use Hypnosis or their own blood to create Thralls. The method may vary.They dislike Holy Symbols (belief in said symbol will corelate directly with the effectiveness. For example: an Eye of Ra won’t do much but a Star of David will!) Garlic Flowers count as Garlic. Decapitation, followed by destruction of the heart kills them. (Although that’ll kill pretty much anyone really)You might be able to turn into a swarm of bats, or mosquitoes.and unless I’m forgetting something really obvious, that’s probably most of them! At some point Vampires began to lose a lot of their abilities. Which eventually Culminated with Stephanie Myer and Twilight with Sparkly Vampires.Recently (In like the last 10 years) we’ve seen a return to form for depictions of Vampires. Media like Empire of The Damned by Jay Kristoff or Adventure Time: Stakes, What We Do In The Shadows, Castlevania (The Show) and Vampire The Masquerade (and Hunter The Parenting)have shown that the original ideas of Vampires are making a bit of a return, with some new Ideas thrown in for Funsies!Things like an Army of Mindless & Savage Thralls, A Vampire Wizard with a Gun named Kevin, Teleportation and so much more!

Personally, I’m really looking forward to seeing what folks do with Vampires in the Future.

This is Angus from Shock Radio, and I really hope you enjoyed reading this. Remember to tune into “Dusk Till Dust” on Fridays, between 4-6PM.


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